Realtalk : Insecurities.

REALTALK - 

A blog series I decided on starting. Here, we can be open, transparent, and true. 

I've always wanted my platform to be a place people could go to for comfort, somewhat like a safe place. I feel that this blog series is the perfect opportunity for me to share my thoughts and my advice to the people who need it. 

This is also for the people who don't have anyone to turn to for advice, nor have a shoulder to lean on.  

                           

 

INSECURITIES -  

WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT INSECURITIES? 

Insecurities are completely normal. Everyone has them. Everyone human, at least. In my case, I get insecure because of 3 reasons :  

 

1. Society's expectations. 

We believe that we aren't enough, because we have false images put into our heads. Because of those false images, we start to believe that there's a "perfect" body, a "perfect" face, a "perfect" man or woman, but that is so untrue. Yes, our society is advanced and is better than it used to be, but we are still put under heavy and unrealistic expectations that we foolishly believe we have to live up to. 

source - https://twitter.com/sbsdating/status/779659415511334912

 2. I compare myself to other people. 

From people online, to people I personally know. It was a habit I couldn't avoid. Sometimes it even felt like an addiction to pick out my flaws one by one. Or what I thought flaws were, rather. But now, I've realized that the only person we should ever compare ourselves to, is who we were yesterday. 

source - https://tinybuddha.com/blog/13-things-instead-comparing-others/https://tinybuddha.com/blog/13-things-instead-comparing-others/

 3.  People who would constantly point out my flaws. 

I used to be friends with someone who would never shut up about me having "too much" or "not enough" of something. This caused my self-esteem and confidence to plummet. Though, at the time, I didn't realize that this was toxic, and was doing harm to me. For so long, I believed that this person was my best friend, and was someone who I thought was helping me, but was actually degrading me. Most of the jokes that this person made were about my appearance, and I laughed them off, because I genuinely thought they just didn't have the best sense of humor, but I now realize that it was disrespect disguised as a joke. 

source - https://weheartit.com/entry/335905052

                           

HOW I COPE WITH INSECURITIES : 

I used to be so so insecure. I let my insecurities control me. Suddenly, looking at myself in the mirror, and listing down everything I didn't like about what I saw became a habit. I was in denial of my insecurities, and that only made things worse. It's draining to constantly compare yourself to instagram models, who have society's ideal body type. It sucks to look at someone, and then not want to eat after. 

There was a time where I dedicated 2 hours a day to work out, but I soon got tired of it, and looking back at it, I now know why I lost motivation. I didn't start working out because I genuinely wanted to be healthy. I started because I wanted to show everyone that I too had that "perfect body". 

Though having insecurities is inevitable, it still sucks, so here are things I did that helped me slowly regain my confidence. 

1.  Acknowledge that you're insecure.

Being in denial only makes your insecurities worse. If having insecurities wasn't draining enough, being in denial only drains you out even more. 

 

2.  Find the root cause of your insecurities.

It's good to know why you're insecure, because if you know what's causing them, then there's a higher chance you'll be able to figure out how to avoid and how to treat what's making you insecure. 

Insecurities can be due to past traumas, fears, failure rejection, comparison, etc. I find that the way we feel as children, will carry on into our adult lives.  

3. Understand that you are special and unique in your own little way.

As cliché as it is, it's true. You are your own being, and nobody can strip you of that. One of the only things you can hold onto for life is yourself.

4. Don't give anyone power over you.  

As I've said, you are your own being. You are responsible for your actions. You have the right to say NO. So don't let anyone control you.  

Don't let anyone degrade your worth, because at the end of the day, you know yourself more than anyone else does. You know what you're capable of. 

5. Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

Think of life as one big fat movie. In this case, you're the main character of your movie. The only person you should focus on is you, I mean, you are the main character after all. 

Instead of living up to society's unrealistic expectations, how about you live up to yours? Be better than who you were yesterday. Create your own standards. Create your own rules.

                           

 You are so worthy of being. Disregard the expectations society has placed on you, and show the world who you truly are. Show your authentic self, and be unapologetic about it.  

You are an amazing, beautiful, and special creature, and no one can ever be just like you. No one can ever take away your power. Claim your individuality, and be bold about it.

Believe in yourself. 

XOXO 💋